because, I get tired of searching.

I dream of the day when they'll invent a device, wireless earphones one can put on and they study you, I mean all of your thoughts, demons, experiences, anxieties and aspirations, and get to know you like no-one else does, and update themselves with every change in your life, and when you turn them on they play the perfect most relevant song to you at that time, this way we would always get that sweet fucked-upness listening to the perfect song, every-single-time we turn them on.

Grandma's mirror.

I remember vividly when i was really young , a kid , i was at my grandma's i was staring at the mirror and she told me "stop it , people who stare at mirrors go mad eventually".

Well , i turned out to be mad already but i wonder , was it beacuse i didn't listen to her and kept staring at mirrors every time i see one or is it the other way around ! , that people who were already born mad stare at mirrors and people like grandma got it backwards!

At night.

when we were kids we were absolutely clueless about the other half of the day , the half when all the things we wonder about and dream about truely exist , the half we knew exists but weren't allowed to witness cuz we were just too young & immature to comprehend all the awesomness of it as if we were allowed to we would be overwhelmed and die instantly , um talking about the mysterious magical "NIGHT".

When i did wake up in the middle of the night i remeber getting overwhelmed and excited beyound expressions i used to be like " Wow , i am there now ....the forbidden kingdom ! um where the gigantic adults show their true beings and discuss cosmic issues , where they go through every detail of what i had done all-day which i was naive enough to think that they didn't notice , but apparently they did other wise why would they be awake now and talking ! , when also everything gets a break from being still and stop pretending to be lifeless , yes , chairs , tables , bags shoes you name it flicker back to life , say and do whatever they've been really wanting to all-day long but couldn't .doing what they crave doing instead of the lame-ass purposes they were supposedly made for"

And i remeber being cautious , very cautious not to witness too much , cuz i believed that there was a reason why we shouldn't , so i close my eyes and go back to sleep feeling both happy & proud that i get a glimpse of it and childishly relieved that i made it back in one piece and wasn't torn up by the night's awesomness.

I miss that !, i miss being clueless ! , about things that make life exciting things that give us reasons to anticipate and look forward.

Now, that the mystery about the night has gone , um going to find other overwhelming things to look forward to , i am going to search for reasons to be grateful and understanding , things that would make me embrace life and find inner-peace.

Cuz if The mystical night has shown it's true colours , there are plenty of colours left still to see.