That's a diary kinda thing, you don't have to really read it.

Last year I celebrated my birthday by getting fired.
This year, I am at a not so bad job, I do things I like somehow regularly, I care healthily less and most importantly, I am comfortable in my own skin.

I am grateful for knowing what I am capable of doing and grateful for having what it takes to get it done.

UPdate (May 16, 2016):

On my birthday in 2015 I quit my job (I could be dramatic like that) and decided to move to Dubai job hunting, I spent three tough months there and finally get a good job two days before my visa expired. I am very grateful. 

I am probably the only person who thinks she is truly beautiful.
And, My God, she is.

She's so cool my heart hurts just because I don't really know her.
Judge me and I'll kill you.

I don't know, but if I saw her walking down the streets, my day would be both  made and ruined at the same time.
Because, I am cool with not possessing almost all kinds of beauty, but her, it would hurt watching her move out of my sight.
The "I gotta have her" thought would ruin me. Because, I am not a "I gotta have her" kinda guy.

She's so beautiful she brings out the best of me.
And, she doesn't even know it.

Have you ever loathed yourself so much you genuinely despised people who like you for being pathetic?   

That's why most people freak out when someone shows interest in them, Their self loathing makes them think "There must be something wrong with that person if s/he is showing genuine frank interest in me" And that also makes them feel that the people who treat them like they are inferiors to them are the right ones for them. Because, in their minds those people know better than liking them.  

That's messed up. And, it's one of the reasons why this world is a sad place.

This is not a sad post.

I have only one problem.
An issue or demon if you will.

I am miserably lonely.
Not "Will I find a life partner" lonely.. Existentially lonely.

I can't relate to anything.
And, when I do, it's for few seconds then it's gone leaving me with only the notion that I felt a relation to something moments ago.

Like, I can't even relate to the feeling of relating that was inside of me moments ago.

I am steadily accepting the fact that I am going to die alone, not without people,
But rather without anything that would make my life doesn't seem pointless.